We live in a time when everything is getting more and more digital. We are sharing and manifesting our lives just like I'm showing my life to you right now. But what you see is really a glimpse of it all, the parts that I choose to show you. It's easy to look at other peoples lives and get the glorified version of it, thinking that others have the perfect life and you don't. I was born in the 80's and I can of course not know exactly what previous generations has gone through but for some reasons young people are getting more and more depressed. Several of my friends are taking anti depressive pills and others are talking about starting. Suicides are the most common death for young people today. We live in a time where we have time to think and reflect upon our own existence and it might be hard to find a reason for it all. I have sometimes lost my inspiration completely and then it's easy to find even more negative things about your life. I guess we have to learn to focus more on what we have and feel grateful for this than to focus on the things we are missing. Just because I do this doesn't mean than I won't have a hunger for more, it's that hunger that will push me into doing more things and learning more about myself. To dream is the most important thing and to make plans for yourself. But sometimes it doesn't matter how much you want something. I just had to walk away from someone that I care deeply for but sometimes timing is everything and we didn't have it. It's rare and beautiful when two people meet and they want the same things at the same time. My wedding clients makes me believe that it's possible. I love to ask them all how they met and I smile every time when I hear the answers, their stories. One man said: Well I was drunk and she was even more drunk and another said that they had been friends for many years and one day they just "saw" each other. I love how the Swedish poet Emil Jensen says that there is no unhappy love, just idiots who doesn't want you. Love is complicated and in my book never easy. Sometimes we want someone even if we know we should not and sometimes we don't want someone we know we should want. I have a bad habit of putting myself in situations that are challenging for my heart and mind but I believe this makes me stronger in the end. I throw myself out from the cliff into the nothingness just because I can. I just wish the fall was longer and that the ground was less hard. I find a lot of comfort in that eventually everything passes, it must. It's impossible for things to stay the same and all I can do is be patience with time. I like to think that there is something good in all seeming failure. I can't see it now but time will reveal it and I just must have patience...even if that is one of my biggest weaknesses.
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| Every hour with you feels like a second |
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