The end of May

A little preview...

Yesterday I had the most amazing fashion shoot. It was a collaboration with Odd lovin', a vintage store run by Tuva Minna Linn (http://www.oddlovin.com/). I was in love with all the pieces she had picked for the shoot. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a sucker for old things. This is a preview from the shoot, more pictures soon!
Styling: Tuva Minna Linn / Hair and make-up: Marinela Vilceanu & Vivianne Selariu / Models: Astrid (Sweden models) & Ina S / Location: Malmö

Eventually they all fall down...

Take my hand and set me free 

Take my burdens and bury them deep

Take my burden away from me
and bury it before it buries me

(The Oh Hello's Cold is the night)

I can't believe it (Fotosidan Masters Porträtt)

After I posted the latest blogpost yesterday I went down to the store to buy the new issue of Fotosidan magasin (a popular Swedish magazine about photography). Fotosidan has a photo contest during 1 year divided into 4 parts in 3 different categories: nature, portraits and in the spur of the moment. I totally missed this contest until there was only 2 parts left. I decided to upload a portrait that I liked but that was quite untraditionally. To my big surprise that image won part 3 in portraits. I thought only that was amazing and I had little hope to win it all. For fun I uploaded a picture of a German actress/model called Muriel and also that one was selected in the top 15 portraits and that gave me more points. I had no idea of my final placement in the contest until today when I saw it in the magazine. I could hardly beleive my eyes and this great feeling of happiness just showered over me. I didn't see this coming and I still find it hard to beleive. It's just not glory that you win, I also get a Nikon D7100 with a 16-85 lens. I'm a Canon girl but I'm willing to give Nikon a chance. ;)

Now I'm curious to see who will win photo of the year. All of the photos selected during the year are competing against each other no matter the category. If you like to support me please have a look at the blogpost previous to this one.

Jag behöver er support!

This is mostly for my Swedish readers but I will still take it in English. A while ago a portrait of mine (black and white of Asian girl) was selected as number one in a big photo contest in Sweden. The competition is divided into four parts and I won the third part in portrait photography. Now I have the possibility of winning the big price as image of the year in Fotosidan Masters. To do this I really need your vote. To vote for my image go to: http://www.fotosidan.se/cldoc/rosta-fram-fotosidans-mastarbild-2013.htm and click on the link. I think you have to be a member to vote so I totally understand if that is to much work but if you are already a member of Fotosidan I would be so happy if you could do this for me!!! ♥♥♥

The heart is the only organ that can get stronger after being broken

 At the moment I'm reading a Swedish book that my sister gave to me. It is full of these smart ways of thinking about life and I wanted to share a little bit of it with you. The book is about mindfulness, something I believe we all need more of. Most of the time we are making ourself sick with bad thoughts. We are worried about things that have not even happened or reliving the less good choices we have made in life. Instead of focusing so much energy on this we could also do the opposite. I find it hard to images the best possible thing that could happen to me because I'm so scared of being disappointed. But if I never dream of the things I want in life how am I even suppose to get them? By picturing my future and what I wish for it to hold I am allowing the possibility of it. At the moment I'm in a place in my life where I got a lot of things going for me. I got a wonderful family, I got kick ass friends, for the first time in a long time I got my own apartment, I got a season ahead of me that is full of photography work, I recently got signed to a photography agency and I got my health and youth. But I can't help feeling like I'm missing the biggest thing out there...love. I have love for my family and friends so what I mean is that special person who can capture my interest in the long run. Since I don't want to be disappointed I'm questioning if I exist at all but that is such a pessimistic thought that makes me slightly depressed and I know it does exists, I have experienced it.They say that love will never find you if you look for it but I think that love happens by accident and that you have to throw yourself at it when it does, not worrying about the outcome. The heart is the only organ that can get stronger after being broken.

The twins (Self-portrait)

We have to believe we have the power to change it

I'm not afraid of saying that I'm a feminist. Saying this does not mean that I hate men or wish there was just women on this earth. This means that I beleive in equality between women and men on every level and that those things that are labeled feminine should not be looked down upon. If you feel like wearing a pink, short dress you should be respected just as much as if you are wearing a suit. I have heard more than once that my photography work is typical feminine in it's language and colours. In the beginning I found that provoking because you never say that a naked girl, laying on the floor with a banana in her mouth is a typical male photo. I guess I was provoked because those things that we like to call typical feminine is looked down upon by society. I know that most of my followers are young women and I love that. I don't like the way women sometimes are portrayed in fashion and advertising and I beleive that It's possible to make a change. I love nude-photos, I beleive the naked body is such a beautiful and sensual thing and I beleive it's possible to use it in photos without violating the person. In fashion and advertising women are objectified, stupefied and often dominated by men. I have seen fashion pictures that flirts with the idea of gang rape and it makes me sick. I hope I will never be blinded by the industry, get lost in the same things and that I keep on listening to my intuition. Today anyone can be a photographer and I see so many young, female photographer who takes wonderful pictures in their own way. Now days when someone tells me that my photos are typical feminine I take it as a compliment...

I can highly recommend that you have a look at Jean Kilbourne's documentaries Killing us softly and Still killing us softly. The first time I saw them I was just blown away. You can find clips from the documentaries on youtube.

Recently this website http://trettiotreanledningar.com/ was banned from facebook and it's now impossible to link to it from facebook. The reason? A drawing of a vagina. I wish I could translate it all for you who does not speak Swedish but I think you get the picture....

P.s sorry that my English is not that great, I am after all Swedish and I also have a light version of dyslexia but I do think you understand what I am trying to say in my blog posts...

The secret garden

Styling/clothes: Tuva Minna Linn http://www.oddlovin.com/  Make-up & hair: Marinela Vilceanu Model: Mi

 

 

 

 

 

Rome / Livorno / Florence

I just came back from a 6 days holiday spent in Italy together with my wonderful friend Madde. We started our trip in Rome where the first thing that hit us was the warmth and the pulse of the big city. We walked slowly through the streets and saw many signs of wonder like the Roman Forum and the Colosseum. We were lucky to stumble upon the oldest vegetarian restaurant in Rome called Il Margutta Ristor Arte. We took a break from the city in Villa Borghese and went to Gianicolo for the amazing view of the city. After 2 nights we took the train to Livorno by the coast. We were welcomed by my new friend Irene. She was kind to take us in when our original plan failed. Now and then you meet people that you embrace right away and she in one of those. We went to a release party for a Livorno musician called Glavast and we all danced for hours. It's my third time in the city and every time I have been there it's been a new experience, both good and bad. When the three of us got on the train to Florence I really left a piece of my heart behind. Maybe one day I will go back to collect it again...
We arrived in a cloudy Florence but no rain fell upon us in the last days. Irene has lived there so we could not have asked for a better guide. I must also recommend the hotel we stayed at. If you ever go to this city you have to stay at Hotel Elite. Just the lady who own the place makes it worth staying there. Florence is beautiful and we walked around a lot. In the evening we found two Dutchmen that we hung out with until the sun went up. I love that about travelling, how you so randomly meet people. When Irene went to Milan the next day, me and Madde went to two museum, first the famous Uffizi and then Museo Nazionale di Fotografia F.lli Alinar. When I went to art school many years ago I was in love with Botticelli so It was great to see some of his most famous work up close. At the same time I realized how much I love photography and how stiff old paintings can be. At the photography museum they where showing work by Joel-Peter Witkin (http://www.edelmangallery.com/witkin.htm). It's a bit funny because it was also at art school that I first saw his work. I still can't make up my mind how I feel about it, the use of dead people. It's frightening, provoking but beautiful and magical at the same time.
When I woke up the last morning I was filled with mixed feelings, one part of me needed to get home but the other part was begging me to stay. The downside about travelling is when it ends, I guess I just have to make some new plans for after this summer. Tomorrow the wedding season starts for me and I will be super busy.
I have taken so many photos during this trip and here are some that I want to share with you...

On our way

Getting ready for Rome

Wonders

Wandering around

Many tourists

Beautiful birds

Day 2

Veggi lover

In Villa Borghese

Walking around

After getting lost we finally found the spot where you could see it all

Changing city

I love Italy

Summer is already here

Irene spoiled us on our arrival

Such a beautiful little cat

Livorno by night started at the seaside

We danced and danced

Deni

Why can't drinks be this cheap in Sweden

Sweet

For some reason almost everyone I get to know in Livorno is a musician...

Livorno is beautiful in it's own way

Changing city again...

On the wall where loved once writes their names I found this one...

Walking around

We spent the hole night outdoors and it was crazy how few people we saw

The first word I remember knowing in Italian is fragola. As a child I was crazy about strawberry ice cream

One of the Dutchmen we found...

Of course we had to go there...after 2 hours in line we got in

Someone made a bad joke and had to make up for it....

Crossing the mountains

Going to the airport in Pisa

I love clouds...but I hate when a trip ends

Him

Staring at the bottom of your glass, Hoping one day you'll make a dream last

But dreams come slow and they go so fast, You see her when you close your eyes

Maybe one day you'll understand why, Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

(Passenger Let her go)

Thoughts (May)

We live in a time when everything is getting more and more digital. We are sharing and manifesting our lives just like I'm showing my life to you right now. But what you see is really a glimpse of it all, the parts that I choose to show you. It's easy to look at other peoples lives and get the glorified version of it, thinking that others have the perfect life and you don't. I was born in the 80's and I can of course not know exactly what previous generations has gone through but for some reasons young people are getting more and more depressed. Several of my friends are taking anti depressive pills and others are talking about starting. Suicides are the most common death for young people today. We live in a time where we have time to think and reflect upon our own existence and it might be hard to find a reason for it all. I have sometimes lost my inspiration completely and then it's easy to find even more negative things about your life. I guess we have to learn to focus more on what we have and feel grateful for this than to focus on the things we are missing. Just because I do this doesn't mean than I won't have a hunger for more, it's that hunger that will push me into doing more things and learning more about myself. To dream is the most important thing and to make plans for yourself. But sometimes it doesn't matter how much you want something. I just had to walk away from someone that I care deeply for but sometimes timing is everything and we didn't have it. It's rare and beautiful when two people meet and they want the same things at the same time. My wedding clients makes me believe that it's possible. I love to ask them all how they met and I smile every time when I hear the answers, their stories. One man said: Well I was drunk and she was even more drunk and another said that they had been friends for many years and one day they just "saw" each other. I love how the Swedish poet Emil Jensen says that there is no unhappy love, just idiots who doesn't want you. Love is complicated and in my book never easy. Sometimes we want someone even if we know we should not and sometimes we don't want someone we know we should want. I have a bad habit of putting myself in situations that are challenging for my heart and mind but I believe this makes me stronger in the end. I throw myself out from the cliff into the nothingness just because I can. I just wish the fall was longer and that the ground was less hard. I find a lot of comfort in that eventually everything passes, it must. It's impossible for things to stay the same and all I can do is be patience with time. I like to think that there is something good in all seeming failure. I can't see it now but time will reveal it and I just must have patience...even if that is one of my biggest weaknesses.

Every hour with you feels like a second

. 

Italy here I come!

Tomorrow I'm getting on a plane to Rome with one of my best friends. I'm looking forward to the adventures that lies ahead...